I'm going to start leaving my fly down to capitalize on opportunities for hilarity.

And also to show how graciously I can take a good fly-related ribbing. I won't be embarrassed at all! People will shout, "XYZ! Look at that guy! He has neglected to examine his zipper!" And then, when all eyes are on me, I will just zip it slowly and adjust my belt, and then I'll find the cutest girl in the bunch and toss her a twinkle as if to say, "That's right. Nothing gets to me."

Maybe I won't even zip it! I'll just look down at it and take a moment to process it - like I'm saying to myself "Yep, everything's in order," and then, if I'm sitting down, I'll rest my drink in it or something. Haven't you heard? Down is the new up!

Hopefully I will not forget on a day when I'm not wearing any underwear because I have no laundry. That could get a little hairy, if you catch my meaning.

(Just kidding. I have no hair below my neck ever since the accident.)